By Teresa Torres · producttalk.org · @ttorres on X · LinkedIn
In this podcast episode, Teresa Torres and Petra Wille examine how people behave in communities, noticing a growing number of members who ask what they can get rather than how they can help. They argue that community benefits, such as trust, referrals and opportunities, usually arrive years later and only for people who gave generously first. The conversation covers the difference between offering genuine value and giving unsolicited advice, how the hosts handle entitlement and scholarship requests at conferences and courses, and how to behave well in online spaces like Slack and LinkedIn. Their core message is that relational giving beats transactional networking, and that choosing a few communities to engage with deeply works better than being everywhere at once.
01Key takeaways
- Contribute to a community before asking it for anything, and expect returns to arrive later rather than immediately.
- Pick a small number of communities and show up consistently rather than spreading thin across many spaces.
- Offer help in a way that is timely and well-toned; the same value can feel generous or pushy depending on delivery.
- Small gestures such as a thank-you note or a shared resource can build lasting relationships.
- Treat networking as relational rather than transactional, since people remember who helped them, not who only wanted attention.
02Key sections
- The trend that sparked the episode
- Petra notices more community members arriving with a take-first mindset. The hosts treat this as a worrying shift in how people approach shared spaces.
- Why communities pay off over time
- The benefits of community engagement are often delayed and unexpected, showing up years later. Consistent contribution builds reputation that compounds.
- Giving versus unsolicited advice
- Real value is offered in a way that builds trust, while unrequested advice or sales-style pitches erode it. Timing and tone determine which one people experience.
- Handling entitlement at events and courses
- The hosts describe how they respond to scholarship requests and volunteer behavior in their own conferences and course communities, emphasizing that approach matters.
- Showing up well online and choosing where to engage
- Thoughtful sharing beats spamming in digital spaces, and fewer, well-chosen communities allow deeper involvement than trying to be everywhere.
03From the post
“Listen to this episode on: Spotify | Apple Podcasts In this episode of All Things Product, Petra Wille and Teresa Torres dive deep into an increasingly relevant (and occasionally frustrating) topic: how people show up in communities—and whether they’re showing up to give or to take. From in-person”
Summary and takeaways written by PM Atlas; quotes are short excerpts. © the original author.