Route Around Big Egos

Shreyas Doshi argues that when two highly competitive, ego-driven product managers must negotiate with each other, the outcome tends to be poor for everyone involved. The piece frames this as a recurring pattern in some top-tier companies, where PMs view peers as rivals rather than collaborators. Because the dynamic consumes energy and distorts decisions, it matters to anyone trying to ship good products through cross-functional alignment. The core message is that the healthiest response is often to route around the conflict rather than attempt to win it head-on.

01Key takeaways

• Recognize when a negotiation is really a status contest rather than a debate about the product.
• Anchor discussions in customer outcomes and shared goals to lower the temperature.
• When a peer is combative, consider routing the decision around them instead of trying to win head-on.
• Bring in neutral stakeholders or clear decision criteria to break deadlocks.
• Protect team momentum by avoiding fights that consume energy without improving the product.

02Key sections

The problem of competitive PMs

Some product managers at elite companies carry large egos and a combative stance toward other PMs. The essay treats this as a structural feature of certain environments rather than a rare personality flaw.

Why negotiation breaks down

When two such PMs negotiate, each focuses on winning and protecting status, so the shared goal of the product gets lost. Everyone in the system ends up worse off.

Routing around the conflict

Rather than confronting the rival directly, the author suggests finding alternative paths to the decision, such as aligning with shared customer goals or involving neutral parties.

03From the post

“Product Managers in some top tier companies have a big ego, along with high competitiveness / combativeness specifically against other PMs in the company.”

Summary and takeaways written by PM Atlas; quotes are short excerpts. © the original author.