By Teresa Torres · producttalk.org · @ttorres on X · LinkedIn
Teresa Torres argues that empathy, the ability to feel what another person feels rather than merely sympathize, is essential for building products that solve real problems or create delight. Sympathy tends to make us project our own experience onto others, while empathy shifts our perspective to theirs. She draws on Daniel Pink's five-step process to show how product people can build this skill. The steps move from self-awareness and non-judgment of one's own emotions, to noticing emotions in others, imagining what those feelings are like, and finally practicing through deliberate exercises and varied experiences. The piece matters because understanding users deeply is the foundation of good product discovery.
01Key takeaways
- Empathy means feeling what a user feels, which is more useful for product work than sympathy.
- Notice your own emotions first, since you cannot recognize them in others without that awareness.
- Let go of judging emotions; you can control your reactions but not the feelings themselves.
- Practice imagining others' perspectives by mimicking their expressions or arguing views you disagree with.
- Spend time with customers, sales staff, and people different from you to build the habit of perspective-shifting.
02Key sections
- Empathy versus sympathy
- Torres distinguishes sympathy, feeling bad for someone, from empathy, actually feeling what they feel. Her poverty example shows why sympathy alone fails to produce real understanding.
- Build self-awareness of emotions
- Before reading others' emotions, you must notice your own. Torres suggests meditation or simple mood-tracking apps as entry points.
- Stop judging your emotions
- Many people learn early that some feelings are bad. Separating judgment from the emotion itself makes it easier to recognize feelings in both yourself and others.
- Recognize and imagine others' emotions
- Start noticing emotion in others, then imagine what it is like to feel that way, using facial expressions as a starting point. For those who struggle emotionally, intellectual empathy through arguing the opposite view can help.
- Practice deliberately
- Torres recommends daily perspective-taking, IDEO method cards, acting classes, and spending time with people unlike yourself, including customers and colleagues.
03From the post
“Empathy made my list of Top 7 Traits of a Good Product Manager. So let's take a look at what it is and how to develop it. As we learned in that article, empathy is the ability to feel another person's feelings. It is often confused with sympathy.”
04Frameworks mentioned
Summary and takeaways written by PM Atlas; quotes are short excerpts. © the original author.